Lent

Well, I usually give up something for Lent, but I had a really hard time trying to decide what to give up this year. For one thing, by the time I realized that it was time for Lent, I had already accidentally enjoyed all of my usual suspects (Diet Mt. Dew, fried foods, sweets, etc.), because Lent conveniently began on my birthday! And then I couldn't figure out what was left to give up, and then I was just too sleepy and nauseated to even worry with it.

However, at this point, I seem to be emerging from the first trimester fog of misery. I am now overwhelmed with the urge to clean my house, go walking in the park, shop for maternity clothes and eat all things yummy. I am also, unfortunately, overwhelmed with the urge to virtual farm. Despite the fact that I've been getting tired of it for a while, I just can't seem to give up my Farmville on Facebook. So now, in a belated gesture of Lenten abstention, I am officially retiring from my virtual farm, at least until 10 days after Easter (that will make it the traditional 40 days altogether!). Better late than never, right?

In the meantime, I am thinking of taking up actual farming, or at least gardening. So far we have planted 3 pumpkin seeds in a pot on the windowsill, and 2 of them have sprouted. I have also bought oodles of assorted sunflower seeds at Lowe's, and as soon as I can get around to asking my Dad how to go about getting them to grow, I plan to get them started as well. Hurry up, spring!!!!

Understanding the Rain

I have a really, really hard time understanding the way God works sometimes. I know that I am supposed to relax, not worry, not question, and let Him work His will, but then I see some of the painful things that happen to such good people and it just makes me so sad and confused.

For those of you who don't already know this, I haven't exactly had the easiest time on the pregnancy road in the past. I have dealt with 3 preterm births, and between Barrett and Norah, I had 3 miscarriages: one at 11.5 weeks, one at 5 weeks and one at around 9 weeks. I was a complete nervous wreck the entire first trimester with Norah, and to a lesser degree this time around. Also, after the terrifying way Norah came into this world, I now feel a little bit like a ticking time bomb, a feeling which I'm pretty sure is only going to get more pronounced the further I get into the pregnancy. I pray daily that things will go smoothly this time around, and that the progesterone shots will work and that we will be able to have an easy, joyful ending to the beginning of our life as a family of 6.

That said, I realize more and more all the time that despite the pain and difficulties we went through with our past pregnancies, we are so, so very lucky. Because in spite of the many bumps in the road along the way, I am now blessed to have 3 beautiful, healthy, intelligent (if incredibly mischievous) children. Heck, when it gets right down to it, I'm even thankful for the mischief! I just have so much to be thankful for that it breaks my heart when I read about people who are going through more difficult situations than I can even personally fathom.

I want to ask all of you that pray out there to please, please lift up prayers for one of our 2006 brides, Megan, and her husband Brent and their sweet baby Cohen. She is about 23 weeks along right now, and they found out a week or two ago that baby Cohen is faced with some pretty tough odds due to a rare heart defect. I just bawled when I read about it, because I cannot imagine the struggle of going from the joy of knowing you are going to be a mother in a few short months to the panic and sadness of hearing that your baby might not make it. I am just praying right now that he will make it, and that their test results will all come back good and that the doctors will know exactly what to do to fix him.

This is the kind of thing that makes me have a hard time understanding God sometimes. Because I know that I am supposed to pray that whatever is in His will is what will happen, and that I am supposed to just pray for peace for the family and trust that the outcome is what was supposed to take place. The thing is, I just can't make myself pray that. All I can let myself pray is that the baby will be okay, because any other outcome is just unfathomable to me. The whole situation just makes my insides ache. I guess I'm not supposed to understand, and neither is anybody else. I guess we are just supposed to trust. I will work on that, but I can't make any promises.

In the meantime, please lift up a prayer for Megan's tests this week, that the results will be hopeful and give her some peace. Also, while I'm at this post, which is making me cry anyway, I would like to add continued prayers for the Adams family in Little Rock to your list. They lost their sweet Mamie last year, and I just read that they have been given the go-ahead to try for another baby. I just pray that Mamie will get to have a healthy little brother or sister as soon as possible, and that the Adams will be blessed with an easy pregnancy when the time is right.

There it is again, that hard stuff. "When the time is right." I put that on there because it is what I know I am supposed to pray, but just so you all know, I am actually praying that they will get pregnant as soon as humanly possible. Patience really is a virtue, but one I don't exactly have in spades.

Thanks for listening and praying for these good people, and I'll try to make my next post a happy one!

Shiloh's First Portrait!

Baby Shiloh is 11 weeks along and going strong! We made our way up to Bentonville for a sneak peek at What's Kickin'. We were delighted to see the sweet, tiny baby squirming around in there and stretching out his or her long, skinny legs. The baby even knew how far along it is supposed to be, measuring at exactly 11 weeks! I have decided that Shiloh is by far our best behaved child. ; )

Age Old Font Question...

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First Place!

We were so proud when Autumn's cheerleading team, the PCA Jewels, took first prize in their division at the Athletic Championships in Hot Springs this weekend! It was a 2-day competition, which was a little different, and it was a close one too! They only beat out the second-place team by a few hundredths of a point, but they did it!


















Those girls work so hard, and we were excited to see it pay off for them. Not to mention that their routine really is amazing to watch! Good job, ladies! We can't wait for next time!

10 Weeks Photo

Well, I'll be 11 weeks pregnant and 28 years old on Wednesday, but for today I am still 10 weeks and still 27, thankyouverymuch. ; ) Here is one of the photos Jason took last week to kick off our maternity set with Baby Shiloh!





Lots more to follow as my belly grows! It's getting bigger by the minute!

10 weeks!

Well, I'm 10 weeks pregnant now! This means several things.

1. I am 25% done being pregnant with baby Shiloh (ALREADY!?!)
2. I can easily hear the baby with the Doppler, which I do almost every day. Ever since I discovered that I could hear the heartbeat about a week ago, it has been giving me great delight to listen to the 170-beats-a-minute-or-so galloping each morning!
3. I only have about 2 weeks or so of the yuckiness to endure before the wave of second-trimester happiness washes over me. I can't wait!

Even though this is my fourth go-round, I'm still enjoying reading the highlights of the baby's development each week. According to my handy-dandy "Your Pregnancy Week By Week," which has been my go-to prego book since the days of Autumn's gestation, little Shiloh is now about an inch and a half long. The book compares the baby to a small plum this week. This is a great improvement over the previous weeks, which have included a sesame seed, a pinto bean and a green olive, among other food items. While it is a good visual, I suppose, I much prefer to think of the baby in relation to things which are not edible! Thus, to illustrate Shiloh's size this week, I took the ruler around the office and discovered that he/she is roughly the size of a CF card! : )





Shiloh has also officially graduated to fetus instead of embryo! It is amazing to me that by this point the baby is fully formed, with all of its organs in place and even tiny fingernails and tooth buds. Pregnancy is incredible! To read more about life at 10 weeks pregnant, you can click here.

My biggest frustration at this point, other than the sleepiness and nausea, is that honest to goodness, several pairs of my pants already won't button! I know it is not exactly my first rodeo, but JEEZ! I was secretly hoping to be like all those women on "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" and not show until pretty much the baby was falling out of me, hopefully in a hospital and not a toilet (ew!). But alas, my belly has other plans.

At this point, Bella Bands and yoga pants are standard attire every day. I tried to get by with a looser pair of jeans yesterday, but ended up breaking down and actually buying a Bella Band right there in Target, because I just couldn't take it any more! They still fit everywhere else, but having my jeans buttoned now makes me feel like I'm either going to throw up or tinkle in my pants. I would prefer not to do either, so I'm making peace with the stretchy pants. *sigh

It would probably help if I could stop eating those stupid Valentine Peeps. Peeps are supposed to be a once-a-year indulgence! Easter only! How am I supposed to keep this weight thing under control if they keep coming out with new holiday-related bits of fluffy sugar-coated marshmallow crack!?!

Anyway, stay tuned for the first round of belly photos. We were going to start them today, and continue each Wednesday morning, but unfortunately poor Jason was stricken with some sort of horrible stomach bug and spent the night throwing up and the day trying not to. In light of this, I decided that the pictures can definitely wait until tomorrow! Hopefully he'll be feeling better soon. I'm used to having him right by my side all day, and even just one day with him in bed instead of right with me felt lonely! Maybe a dinner of good soup and a night of good sleep will heal him up for tomorrow.

Have a good evening everyone! I'm going to run downstairs now and make sure the children haven't set anything on fire in my absence!! : )

Happy Free Grand Slam Day!!

Before we get started on our snow forts, we're packing the Pilot full of kids (all of us plus 3 of our neighbors!) and heading over to Denny's for our Free Grand Slams! In case you missed the Super Bowl ad, every American is entitled to a free Grand Slam breakfast until 2 p.m. today. Go get 'em while they're hot! : )

Snow Days!!!

We have had so much snow this year... Normally we're lucky if we get one good snow per year, and this winter we've had at least 3! I am in heaven! I don't even mind being in the office or working in the kitchen, because every time I look out the window, the beautiful, sparkly scene outside cheers me right up! It's so pretty I almost can't stand it!

Anyway, looking at the snow may be fun, but as most of you know, I find snow so completely irresistible that I could never bear not to get out and play in it, no matter how cold it is outside or how ickily prego I might feel! Here are a few fun pictures from Feb. 1, the last good snow we got. We took the kids and some of our neighbor friends to Wilson Park to sled down various death-defying hills and then came home to build ourselves a little snow family!



















We tried to go out earlier today, but it was just 15 degrees, and the kids were turning blue, so we're going to wait until this afternoon to make our usual snowy mischief. We've already tackled snowman-making, snowboarding and sledding this year, so I'm thinking this afternoon we might build snow bunkers and have ourselves a little snowball war! Watch out! : )

Christmas 2009

Well, it took long enough, but I finally got around to peeking through our Christmas photos and dropping them into a slideshow! Click below to check it out! : )

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

I am so tired. I just can't even describe it. I wish I could sleep all day and all night until it was magically my second trimester. This first part is not so fun.


*sigh